Didn't Even Need A Delorian

Yesterday it was discovered that human time travel has occurred. This is not fake news. It was discovered by me. See, we always wondered how it would work if one was to go back in time and mistakenly alter the trajectory of the future. This is your basic Marty McFly principle, or the Sound of Thunder or the Simpsons episode where Homer delivers the poignant line "I wish i wish I didn't squish that fish". I mistakenly assumed that if this were to happen, my memories would change accordingly, to coalesce with the rearranged passage of time, but in fact, at the precise moment some shithead reaches deep into the past and offers George Washington a "rocket blast of methamphetamine", we were catapulted into this very real dystopian present. Everyone is asking themselves "how did we get here, we were moving forward, and then all the sudden Donald Trump was president and we no longer understand the world, was it a fragmented education system, was it the archaic electoral college, was it the proliferation of fake news and Russian interference, was the inherent misogyny of America so deeply ingrained in our bones that we couldn't bring ourselves to pick the clearly better choice because she owned the Alley McBeal DVD box set, or did a Drug dealer named "You Turn" show up at an MIT Lab to provide some young scientists the cocaine they needed to pull an all nighter and upon exiting, stumble into an experiment, travel back in time to the dawn of this great nation and smoke crack with the founding fathers to "see what it do"? Still think this is fake news, read the sound of thunder and then read the Times interview with the president of America. Watch him wield unhinged from subject to subject in a wildly incoherent way, watch as the fragility of his pride struggles with the mass of his ego, watch him bend the truth like it was made from clay and sculpt it into his own misaligned vision. It is truly terrifying.